Read chapter one free. No sign-up needed.

Search by book or genre
Cart

Your cart is empty.

Browse all books
Open or close menu
Cover of the book “Brian Hale Is Not Your Friend” by Margaret Ellery

Free sample

Brian Hale Is Not Your Friend

By Margaret Ellery

Choose your edition

Chapter 1: The Inspection Round

The bracket on the downpipe at Number 19 had slipped a quarter-inch since Tuesday. Brian set his thumb under the collar, eased it level, and took up the slack with the stubby screwdriver he carried in the left coat pocket for exactly this purpose. Six-forty on an October morning, the light still grey along the rooflines of Moorfield Rows, and the round was on schedule: four checks done, seven to come, the horseshoe silent except for a milk float two streets off and his own heels on the flags.

He checked the bracket: collar square, screw bedded. Then he moved on. The round had an order, and the order had reasons. Gutters before gates, because water did more damage than hinges. Gates before the green, because a gate left swinging told a passing stranger more about a street than any length of grass could. The green before the noticeboard, because the noticeboard came last, and last was the position he reserved for the part he enjoyed.

He rounded the horseshoe and saw it from thirty feet away: a rectangle of white where no white belonged.

The noticeboard was his. He'd built it from marine ply and a salvaged oak frame, glazed it, felted its little roof, and squared its papers every morning since: the mowing rota, the bin calendar, the minutes of a committee that had stopped producing minutes worth reading. Somebody had pinned a laminated sheet dead centre, over the rota, with four brass pins. He didn't own brass pins. Nobody on the committee owned brass pins. He took out his reading glasses.

HALLORAN & VANE — APPLICATION FOR DISSOLUTION OF THE RESIDENTS' COMPACT. Beneath the heading, a column of small print in the idiom he distrusted most, the kind that called a street "the subject land." An application had been lodged with the council. A statutory settlement period had commenced. Interested parties were directed to a portal, a reference number, a deadline. And there, four lines from the bottom, in type no larger than the rest and to Brian's eye twice as heavy: pursuant to Clause 19 of the Residents' Compact (1984).

He read the whole sheet twice, the second time slower. His gloved hand rested on the frame he'd built while the sheet sat behind its lamination like a specimen, weatherproofed, ready to outlast the board it was pinned to. Someone had thought about rain. Someone had thought about him.

He folded the glasses and put them away. Then he finished the round, because the round was not finished.

Past Number 16, where the SOLD board had gone up in June. Past 14 and 12, sold within a fortnight of each other in August. Eleven freeholds now, if anyone was counting, and Brian counted every morning without ever saying the number aloud. The boards were all the same firm's, the same plum-and-cream livery, angled to catch the road. In the garage lane he stopped under the failing gutter on the end block and cleared the leaf plug with two fingers, a repair nobody had asked for, on a building nobody would admit to owning. The water ran. He wiped his fingers on the rag he carried for the purpose and stood a moment longer than the job required.

Clause 19. He knew the Compact the way other men knew hymns, not from study but repetition. Nineteen clauses, and the founders had put the strange one last, where solicitors put the trap. He'd recited it to Diana whenever the committee threatened to modernise the wording, and she'd say the same thing each time: leave it be, Brian, it's load-bearing.

At Number 4 the rose bed sat pruned to regulation, deadheaded on Sunday by his own hand, the last blooms gone to the compost where sentiment couldn't get at them. Two doors up, the plum-and-cream board over the Meltons' old fence tilted three degrees off vertical. On any other morning he'd have straightened it on principle, the principle being that even an insult should hang square. This morning he left it.

The checks finished out of order. Green before gates, the Patels' wall before the lane, the sequence broken and reassembled wrong, like a man dealing cards with his mind on the score. He noted the fault in himself the way he'd note a slipped bracket, and filed it for correction, and turned in at his own front path.

A buggy stood across his gate.

It was parked broadside, wedged between gatepost and privet, handbrake on. He knew the buggy: navy, mud on the rear wheels, a spinning plastic bee clipped to the crossbar. He knew the woman standing behind it too, arms folded on the handle, seven months gone and planted like shuttering. Jill Bowman. Number 11. On the street since the spring before last, and she'd learned everyone's gutters, birthdays, and blood pressure. In her free hand was a sheaf of paper, portrait, stapled. He recognised the council portal's font from twenty feet.

"Morning, Hale," she said. "You've seen the board, then. You're eight minutes late."

"The buggy's on my gate."

"It is. That's the design." She lifted the printout. "Clause 19. It's in their small print twice and it isn't in anything I can find. There's no copy of the Compact in the library, there's none on the portal, and the one that's supposed to live on the shelf in the Compact Hall has been missing since before we moved in. You'd know what it says."

"Committee business," Brian said. "Put it to the committee."

"The committee is Jeffrey Lowery and a gavel. I'm asking the man who quotes the thing at people who put their bins out early."

"There's a procedure."

"Lovely. Where's it written down?"

He looked at the buggy. The bee turned slowly on its clip, the only thing moving on the street. "Your back gutter's dropped at the joint," he said. "I can hear it when it rains. I'll come Tuesday."

"You can do the gutter and answer the question. They're not exclusive." She hadn't raised her voice; she was, he understood, prepared to stand there until the school run, and possibly until the birth. "Hale. What is Clause 19?"

Sixty seconds passed, or something like them. Afterwards he couldn't have said why the recitation came out. Perhaps it was the pins, the lamination, or the simple engineering fact that she'd blocked the gate and the day couldn't proceed through her. He gave it flat and fast, the wording exact, the tone he'd use for a meter reading.

"Clause 19. On any dissolution of the Compact, the freehold interest in the common land shall be apportioned by equity vote, one vote standing for each unredeemed hour entered in the estate ledger, credited to the member named. Hours redeemed before the count are extinguished. The count is taken from the ledger as kept."

He watched her face change before he'd finished the second sentence. She was quick; he'd give her that. She looked down at the printout, then at him, and when she spoke again the brightness had gone out of her voice and left something more careful.

"Hours," she said. "The votes are hours. Somebody's been keeping hours."

"It's an old provision."

"There's a ledger." She did the arithmetic aloud, gently, the way you'd walk along ice. "The street decides who owns the street by whatever's written in a book, and everybody says the man who keeps it is you."

"The street says a great deal."

"How many hours are in it? Whose are they?"

There it was. The question underneath the question, the one the whole road had agreed, by some treaty nobody signed, never to put to him. He heard the rest of it coming the way you hear a lorry before it rounds the corner: decades of favours dragged out and counted, names read aloud, pages handled. Diana's pages. Strangers' thumbs.

Brian went cold. He had never once been loud, but he let the temperature drop in his voice.

"The book isn't committee property," he said. "It isn't the council's, it isn't that firm's, and it isn't your business. It's not for sale and it's not for reading. Now move the buggy, please."

The please came out in a voice the street hadn't heard since the funeral. She registered it and, with visible effort, banked her next question rather than spend it. She kicked off the handbrake and drew the buggy back a clean yard, and he went through his own gate at last, past the bee, up the path he'd laid in 1989.

"Ninety days," she said to his back. "That's the settlement period. It's on the portal, I've read the whole filing, all forty pages, and I'll have this clause printed out at the Annual General Muster if I have to read it into the minutes myself. Whether the committee likes it or not. Whether you do."

He shut the front door on the end of the sentence. Through the frosted panel her shape stayed at the gate a moment, then bent to the buggy and moved off, and the street was quiet again, and the quiet had changed employers.

The kettle went on because the kettle went on at seven-fifteen. One mug came down from the shelf. The other four ranked behind it in a row he hadn't disturbed in two years. Then the tea went in, and while the kettle worked itself up he stood in the hallway taking off his coat, and stopped with one arm still in its sleeve.

The hallway cabinet stood where it had always stood, between the coat hooks and the stairs. Oak, glass-sided, a lock he oiled each spring and autumn on a schedule that had outlived its reason. On its middle shelf, spine out, sat a ledger the size of a paving slab: board covers the colour of wet slate, a cloth spine gone pale at the top where forty-one years of hands had hooked it down. The Standing Book. Estate property, held by the keeper. He'd been the keeper nineteen years.

He hadn't opened it since Diana died.

He finished taking off the coat. He hung it on the second hook, took the small key from the drawer of the hall table, and unlocked the cabinet, all of it in the same unhurried sequence he'd have used to bleed a radiator. The glass door swung. The smell came out to meet him: paper, dust, the faint iron of old ink. His hand went to the cover and lay flat on it, thumb against the spine, the board cool and slightly gritty under his palm, like the underside of a windowsill.

Lift it, then. A hinge motion. He'd performed the same motion ten thousand times: on site diaries, on delivery dockets, on this book, at this shelf, with her at the kitchen table calling through to ask who'd finally paid the Lowerys back for the scaffolding.

His hand stayed flat.

Through the cabinet's glass side, where the light from the door panel fell at an angle, a page edge stood a little proud of the block, and along it ran one line of handwriting. Iron-gall ink, faded to brown, the letters upright and even and slightly narrow, schoolteacher's letters, and beneath one word, a name he couldn't read and didn't try to, a single ruled underline. She'd underlined names, never words. He had watched her do it a thousand evenings, the ruler kept in the book for the purpose, because an obligation belonged to a person and the person deserved the ink.

The kettle clicked off in the kitchen.

Brian stood with his palm on the cover and understood the morning in the only terms he had, which were procedural. The laminated sheet made the book evidence. The clause made it a register. Ninety days made it urgent, and the woman at the gate made it public, and somewhere in a plum-and-cream office a firm that thought about rain had already thought about all of this. The book couldn't be guarded shut any longer; shut was now a defect, the way a locked fire door is a defect. Whatever was written in it had become the street's business. He knew it to the hour; he had entered half of it himself. Every column, every name in her narrow hand. And the keeper, the officer appointed to produce it, examine it, answer for it, was a man who couldn't lift the cover of his own hallway cabinet's middle shelf.

He took his hand off the book. He closed the glass door, turned the key, and then, instead of returning the key to the hall table drawer, he put it in his trouser pocket, where he felt it settle against the loose change like a fact.

The tea was built to specification and drunk standing, at the kitchen window, in the spot where the draught came off the frame he kept meaning to re-seal and never would, because Diana had liked the draught; she'd said a kitchen ought to remind you there was weather. On the back of an envelope on the counter, in pencil, in his own exact capitals, sat the reference number from the notice, HV/DIS/2241, copied on the way past that morning between one check and the next, before he'd let himself think about why. The envelope waited for a reply he hadn't decided to make. The council portal waited. Jill Bowman, presumably, waited, though she gave no impression of being good at it.

Movement on the green caught his eye. A plum-and-cream van had pulled up across from the horseshoe's mouth, and two men in fleeces were lifting a post and board out of the back. Number 9. The Chandlers had gone to the daughter's in Pontefract in September, and Sheila Mott had taken the short tenancy while the house was marketed; he'd been checking the gutters since the Chandlers left, without being asked. The men set the post against the fence, and one of them held it steady while the other swung the maul, and the sound arrived in the kitchen a half-beat behind the blow, the way thunder does.

The twelfth. He counted, as he counted every morning, and said nothing aloud.

The board went up three degrees off vertical. Brian could see it exactly from the window, the error obvious against the fence line, the sort of thing a thumb and one glance would cure. The men climbed back into the van and sat with the engine running, doing paperwork against the dashboard.

He stayed where he was. He drank the tea to its finish, washed the mug, turned it upside down on the draining board in the place where one mug went, and the tilted board stood on the green in the strengthening light, unstraightened, while the keeper of the Standing Book stood at his window with the cabinet key in his pocket and let it hang.